


The Devil Inside

by spn_glow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Recovery, M/M, Mpreg, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sam gives birth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-16 19:10:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spn_glow/pseuds/spn_glow
Summary: Sam is tortured and raped by Lucifer. Dean and Cas try to be there for Sam but he is so angry and broken. Even worse Sam is pregnant from the rape which was Lucifer’s intention. Sam doesn’t want the baby but it’s not possible to abort it. He delivers a healthy baby but leaves after it is born. The child grows at a fast rate and is more powerful than Jack. Sam comes back when he’s ready. Lucifer shows up hoping his second offspring is like him. It does not go well for him, but not the way you’d think.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will update summary and tags as I add chapters.

When Sam came to his vision was blurry and head pounding from the blow he took. He tried to move but he was stuck and heard metal rattling with his movements. His eyes focused seeing and feeling his arms were chained up above his head and each ankle was chained to thick posts. He tried yanking his arms then at his legs, it was no use.

“You don’t want to leave now do you Sammy?” Lucifer said stepping into the light that was coming in from loose wall boards.

“Let me go!” Sam yelled yanking his limbs again.

“But the fun hasn’t even started yet, you can’t leave the party early, that would just be rude Sam” Lucifer said walking around him full circle with one arm folded over his chest and a hand on his chin with his index finger tapping his lips as he eyed over Sam.

“Want do you want?! Aren’t you tired of this game with me? Isn’t it old for you by now?” 

“I guess you could say I’m sentimental” Lucifer said raising his shoulders with his hands in his pockets. 

He walked up close and leaned his cheek against Sams getting his lips right next to his ear. Sam felt his skin crawling.

“I’ll always find you, I’m everywhere. You’re mine, remember?” His voice sending a piercing chill through Sam.

Lucifer paused briefly. With a snarl he drew his arm up and back handed Sam across the face violently sharp. Sams head slammed to the side. Lucifer grabbed Sams chin making him look at his menacing glare. 

“You think I’ve given you my worst but that’s going to seem like a cake walk compared to what I have in store for you” he pushed Sams face before letting go.

Lucifer held up the demon knife looking it over. Sam scowling at him. 

“I frisked you while you were out. This has been a fun toy for you....I am excited to play with it” he said sliding the blade between his fingers and intentionally pricking his finger on the point. “Ooo so sharp” he sucked the fingertip making a giddy shiver.

He stepped close to Sam. The knife point being pressed under his chin. It drug lightly down his neck to his throat. Lucifer watching it trace over the skin. Sam not looking at his face, hating his helplessness at the hands of Lucifer. The blade moved down at the start of his chest to the first button of his shirt. A rapid slice of thread sent the button flying to the floor. Sam jerked at the action making Lucifer give a curdling half smile. The knife zigzagged slowly over newly exposed flesh. The next button more fiercely slashed slinging it to the floor. Lucifer continued the pattern. The sound of the buttons hitting and bouncing on the floor along with Lucifers quiet breathing is unsettling. The feel of the knife and Lucifers eyes following it down was grotesque. Sam was forcing himself not to move. He wanted to use every muscle to rip out of his restraints but he knows he can’t. With the buttons gone, Lucifer moves the shirt fully open.

“So much I can do with this over grown canvas” He said groping Sams body with his eyes.

Sams jaw clenched with pursed lips. He couldn’t help his arms from flexing, slightly pulling at the chains.

“I know, it’s hard to choose where to start” Lucifer said. He locked eyes with Sam. 

The first gash rapidly made under his left collar bone.  
“Mmm, crimson red, my favorite color...and taste” He dabbed at the blood then sucked his finger like it was icing.

The next cut was made above Sams nipple. This one steadily slow. Lucifer biting his lip watching the skin splitting. Sam made a low grumble in his throat and his breathing louder through his nose.  
“Yes, purr for me Sammy, makes me tingly” 

“GO TO HELL” Sam roared.

“Aww, love to but what would you do without me?” He looked at Sam as he began the next cut in the first ab muscle. Sam looking away wincing into his arm. 

Lucifer is patient with his pain infliction. He gets pleasure from it. He spends time with each injury, feeding off the smallest reaction from it, a flinch, gasp, or yelp. The more heinous he is, the more he marinates in his vile aura. 

He has sliced into Sam ten times at this point, matching chest gashes, all six ab muscles. The wounds burn. Blood all over his front. He’s sweating from his body staying in a fight mode he can’t even use. 

Lucifer steps back admiring the view. “We’re having fun right?” He laughed.  
“Just wait until my party trick, you’re gonna love it” His smile sinister.  
“No response huh? I’ll get you singing before I’m done”

Lucifer standing in front of Sam. Eyes skimming his face. He pulls at Sams belt watching his eyes close, Sam looks to the side. Lucifer undoes the belt slowly and pulls down the zipper, he looks down at the bloody chest. Slowly he’s bending down, face so close to skin Sam feels his breath, he’s so repulsed. Then he feels a disgusting wet split tongue along one of his cuts. Sam cringes trying to move back but doesn’t evade the slithering.  
“Delicious Sammy” 

Lucifer is on his knees. Sam is so tense and screaming on the inside. Lucifer pulls his pants down to his shins, the posts are close enough but his ankles are bound tight he can’t even knee Lucifer away like he wishes he could.  
“Let’s get matching lines on these legs” Lucifer sounding aroused.

He slices across the top of his thigh. Hands place on the inside of Sams knees making him jump. Lucifer laughs and spreads them to touch the posts. With access to the inner thigh, he grabs a chunk with his teeth and bites hard breaking skin. This time Sam yells out. He bites again next to the first. The marks immediately turning purple and bleeding. He’s alternating the bites and the slicing. When this part is done, Sams legs look like a sliced and bitten Picasso massacre, he lost count of the gashes and teeth marks. There’s so much blood running down but Lucifer knows what he’s doing, he won’t let Sam lose too much, won’t let him pass out. Sam feels weak, his cuts burning and the bites throbbing. The worst is yet to come. 

Lucifer stands and stretches his arms in front clasping his hands cracking his knuckles. 

“Now it’s time for why you’re really here. You get a parting gift” he walked behind Sam. 

“Let me just get this out of the way” he used the knife to slice Sams shirt in half so each piece was hanging at his sides exposing his back and ass completely. 

Sam could hear pants being undone and a zipper. He tried yanking and pulling at the restraints. Panic surging through him, adrenaline pumping, but he was thoroughly locked in place. His breathing heavy when he stopped struggling. 

“You done? I’ve got like, forever, but stop being pathetic. For that, I’m going to make this worse” He took the knife and made cuts along each curve of Sams hips. 

Lucifer grabbed Sams hair pulling his head back tight. “This is for turning my son against me, making him useless. Maybe with your messed up soul, the next one will be different” 

Sams eyes widened, he couldn’t move. “No!!! Please!!! No!!!”  
Lucifer kept his head held back. 

“Please!! Name what you want! I will do it! Don’t do this!!” Sam was pleading, begging.

“This is what I want. There is no deal with the devil for you Sam”

He grabbed his hard dick and shoved into Sams hole. It was dry so it hurt way worse than the carving. Sam couldn’t hold in his screams and choking. He felt himself tearing and being ripped inside as Lucifer shredded his way fully inside. He threw Sams head forward then grabbed his hips over the fresh open cuts, Sam hissed out. He started fucking Sam with no mercy. Digging into his bleeding hips. Sams body like a rag doll in the devils hands. The chains rattling vigorously from the unforgiving pounding. Tears running down his face with his screams.  
Sam didn’t know how long his insides were ripped raw but Lucifer stopped for a second and pulled out. Sam was sliced into again across his lower back. He felt a hand wiping at the blood then heard a moaning sound. Lucifer pushed inside Sam again this time sliding in easy with a warm wetness. He was so raw it didn’t hurt less but he realized Lucifer just used his own blood to lube himself up. Sam started heaving, he had nothing to throw up. 

It felt like Lucifer was inside him for days, his body wasn’t fighting anymore. He felt dead and wanted to be. Then he felt a boiling hot spreading through his torn insides. It was scorching him in pulses. He whimpered through the agony of Lucifers release that seemed to pump out so much for so long. Then it was over. His body was hanging like a puppet on strings. 

“I was gonna drop you off but I’ll just send your big bro a text with the address so he gets here in a day or two. You should steep like that for a while” Lucifer said and then instantly vanished.


	2. Chapter 2

Deans phone rang, he saw it said Sam calling, he immediately answered.

“Sammy! What happened man, I’ve been trying to find you for days!”

“Hey big bro, guess who”

Deans face dropped, he felt an instant rage.

“Where’s Sam you son of a bitch?!”

“What? No small talk?” Lucifer said.

“What did you do??!! Where’s my brother?!?!” Dean said with venom in his tone.

“Fine, fine. He’s hanging out in an old barn....literally. You remember where you killed Cain don’t you?”  
He didn’t wait for an answer before hanging up.

“Damn it! If he’s telling the truth Sam is 15 hours away” Dean said.  
“Cas!! Let’s go! Now!” He yelled out.

Cas came running to Dean seeing him grab his keys heading to the door. Jack was following behind.

“Jack you stay here” Dean said.

“But I can help”

“No, I need you here for when we get back, just stay here”

Jack stayed in place watching them hurry out the door.

*******  
Dean drove as fast as he could, he shaved off two hours but the drive was the longest ride of his life.

When they finally arrived Dean couldn’t get out fast enough. He bolted through the barn door and stopped in his tracks when his eyes laid on Sam. Seeing him strung up, practically naked, covered in so much blood, he looked dead.  
“Sammy!!” He sprinted over. Gently lifted Sams face up. He was breathing and let out a small groan.  
“I’m here Sammy, I’m here” he said with a shaky voice, tears fighting to fall.

“Cas help me get him down. I will support him while you undo these chains”

Cas came up and walked behind Sam. He saw his backside was in even worse condition.  
“Dean, we need to be extra careful moving him” Cas had horror written all over his face.

He got his ankles free first, Dean was doing his best to keep Sams weight from putting more strain on his wrists but Sam cried out with Deans arms wrapped around him.  
“Hold on Sammy, I’m so sorry, hold on. Cas, hurry up!”

Cas got both wrists loose, slowly lowering Sams arms down at his sides, his head leaning on Deans shoulder, and his body slumping forward as Dean lowered them both to their knees.  
“Cas go get the tarp from the trunk, we can’t touch him like this.”

Cas got it in a flash. They carefully moved Sam to lay flat on it. Every move made Sam groan in pain no matter how gentle they were.

“Fucking shit, can you heal him Cas?”

“I can’t for some reason. I tried before we got him down. Something is blocking me. I will keep trying but we have to get him out of here”

They lifted the tarp and walked him to the impala quickly. Getting Sam in the back seat without hurting him was impossible. Dean removed Sams pants that were covered in dry blood, he wouldn’t dare attempt pulling them up over all the cuts but he didn’t want Sam restricted in any way. Cas took off his trench coat and covered Sam with it.

“Cas, please sit back there with him”

“Of course Dean”

Cas got in the back angling himself with his back to the car door so he could let Sam lay propped up over his chest and support him with his legs as well.

Dean started the engine and hit the road. “Cas if you can’t heal him he has to go to the hospital. I can’t begin to patch him up from this”

“No, you can’t Dean, but I can once we are home. He will not die but he is severely injured externally and internally. Lucifer has left some sort of mark on him so I need to get around that to be able to heal him” Cas said looking at Sam with a troubled expression. Dean saw him in the mirror catching his look was more than sorrow for Sam.

“You know he won’t die?”

“Yes. The duration of his recovery is uncertain but he will make it”

Sam started coughing which hurt like hell. His eyes opened and he started flailing around.  
Dean hurried and pulled over.

“Sammy it’s okay, it’s me, and Cas, it’s us, we got you”  
“Listen to my voice Sam, we got you, we got you” Dean kept repeating until Sam calmed down. He looked at Dean with tired eyes. He reached out with Dean taking his hand rubbing it softly, Sams body relaxing from Deans touch.  
“That’s it Sammy, right here”

Sams eyes were trying to stay on Deans face. They fluttered closed as he lost consciousness again.

“I swear I’m going to kill fucking Lucifer if it’s the last thing I do”  
Dean said, his hands in fists.

“We will go after him Dean, we won’t let him get away with this” Cas said.

*******  
They got Sam back to the bunker and in a bed. It pained Dean so much to see his brothers body mangled so badly and to think about him suffering through the unthinkable torture made him sick.

Dean was working on cleaning the wounds when Sam flinched. He woke up and his entire body tensed. Eyes searching frantically.

“Hey, hey, Sammy it’s okay“  
Dean said putting a hand on his shoulder.

Sam looked up at Dean, the tension going away. He’s alert this time so the pain is hitting him like a ton of bricks, except that would be more tolerable than the feeling of this pain.  
Sams face scrunches up with an agonizing wince and hurting groans.

“Cas, get in here please!” Dean yelled.

“Sammy try to relax, try not to move” Dean said.

Cas came in walking to Sams other side.

“I.....l can’t....move.....hurts” Sam hoarsely got out.

Cas put his hand on Sams forehead with a serious look, concentrating. Dean watching worried.  
After several minutes Cas removes his hand. Sam gasped out.

“I was able to heal the worst of the internal injuries. I may be able to do the rest in stages” Cas said still looking at Sam.

“Sammy? Did that help?”

“Dean”  
Sam said his lip quivering.

Sam didn’t have to say anything else, Dean knew. Sam was in pieces, almost literally.  
He took Sams hand, his other combing through Sams hair coming to rest on his cheek. Dean leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead and stayed like that.  
Sams tears came flowing out. His body shaking with his sobs.

“I’m so sorry Sammy, I’m so so sorry baby boy. You’re safe now, you’re safe, I’ve got you” Dean said with his lips against Sams head.

Dean laid down beside Sam leaning his head to Sams temple and over his shoulder. He went to put an arm over but started moving it away when Sam weakly grabbed his hand and put it on his chest over his heart. Cas turned to walk out to leave Dean to comfort his brother.

“Cas, please stay too” Sam said through his sobs.

He turned and Dean motioned for him to lay down with them. So he walked over with no hesitation and mirrored Deans position on the other side of Sam. Deans hand on Sams chest, Sams hand over Deans, and Cas’s hand over Sams. They laid there while Sam cried. They too, cried with him, for him. Sam cried himself to sleep and they stayed by his side keeping him cocooned in comfort and love.


	3. Chapter 3

After two weeks Sam was getting his strength back. He was walking okay and stopped needing help with every day tasks, even though Dean would still offer and do some things for him anyway. Sam had not talked about what happened to him and no one wanted to push him to talk before he was ready either. Although, Sam noticed that Cas was watching him a lot but he pretended not to be aware. 

Sam was keeping to himself right now. He’s still healing and wants to be alone mostly. He grabbed some snacks and went to his room to be alone and do some research. 

Dean was sitting in the library looking for ways to trap Lucifer. Cas sitting across from him searching too. 

“I’m worried about Sam”

“That is to be expected Dean”

“Yea, I know. It’s just he hardly says anything, like at all. I think he has shut down”

“Dean, what your brother went through was horrific. Even when his body is fully restored, the psychological repercussions are long term. Lucifer made sure to go beyond Sams breaking point, in every possible way”

“I know Cas, I can see that and I don’t know how he lived through that hell, I really don’t. I just want him to be him, be Sammy” 

“Be patient Dean, this is bigger than the normal set backs”

“I need some air, I’m gonna go take a drive. Call if you need anything okay?”

“Yes Dean”

Once Dean was gone Cas thought he would attempt talking to Sam. The subject is sensitive but it can’t wait. He walked to Sams room and knocked on his door.

“Yea, it’s open” Sam said.

Cas walked in, Sam was sitting at his desk.

“Hello Sam. How are you feeling?”

“Not 100% but better” he said not making eye contact.

Cas walked closer and sat on the bed. 

“Sam, I am sorry to have to ask you this but It cannot wait”

Sam felt queasy but he braced himself for the question he knew was coming.

“Do you know why Lucifer did this to you?” 

Sam was tense. He bowed his head. “Yes” he whispered.

Cas put a hand on Sams knee to give a caring touch but Sam jumped moving his leg away. Cas pulled back quick.

“I am sorry Sam, I did not mean to startle you”

“Uh, no Cas, it’s okay. Please don’t touch me if I’m not looking at you” he said nervously. 

“Sam, I know” 

He looked at Cas’s face with despair. His eyes watering.  
“You know?” His voice cracked.

“I can feel it Sam, power waves” Cas said gently.

The tears began falling down Sams cheeks. He put his face in his hands and just started bawling. He slid to the floor on his knees in front of Cas grabbing at his arms. His words barely understandable.

“Cas.....please! Tell me....how to....get rid of it!” He cried. “Help me Cas! Please! Please. Cas? Cas?” 

He took Sams elbows pulling him up to sit next to him on the bed. He put his hands on Sams face holding his gaze through crying eyes. 

“Sam, listen to me. This cannot be undone. I know you did not choose it and it’s not fair but you can get through this” 

Sam pushed Cas’s hands away and pushed his chest.

“Fuck you Cas! Fuck you! I will find a way!! Get out!! Get the fuck out!!” He screamed. 

Cas got out of his room closing the door behind him. At that time Dean was back and running to the room hearing the yelling and crying. 

“Cas what happened?!”

“Dean let’s speak in the library” Cas said walking away as Dean followed. 

“What the hell Cas?”

“Dean, there is a bigger problem”

“What?! Why did you upset him??”

“I only spoke with him to confirm his situation”

“Situation? We know the situation Cas!”

“Dean, Sam is pregnant”

Dean stood there speechless. He turned a ghostly white. He sat in one of the chairs bewildered. He looked at Cas.  
“Pregnant?” “But how? Why?”

“That had to be Lucifers reason for letting Sam live. Forcing this on him, carrying Lucifers child, it is of the utmost defilement against Sam” Cas said with a sadness. 

“I had to make sure he knew Dean. He’s upset because he asked me to help him get rid of it but that cannot be done” 

“So Lucifer found another way to destroy him. From the inside out” Dean said affirming. 

“Cas we have to save him. Can we save him?”

“We can try Dean”

Jack came in the room, he could feel the high emotion surrounding them.  
“What’s going on, why is everyone sad?” He asked.

“Jack, I can talk to you about it later” Cas said.

“Lucifer tortured Sam and now he’s pregnant” Dean blurted out.

“He’s having a baby by Lucifer? But that would mean....” Jack trailed off.

“It was by force Jack. But it will be your sibling if Sam makes it through this” Dean said.

Jack lowered his head.  
“I’m sorry”

“Jack we need to be there for Sam, he needs as many of us on his side as possible” Cas said.

“I love Sam, of course I will help” Jack said. 

“He’s not doin so good with it so give him space until I can talk to him okay?

“Okay Dean” Jack agreed.

*********  
A couple weeks later Sam was still not talking to anyone. He was avoiding them. Dean tried several times to get him out of his room but Sam was stern in his solitude. He would walk around the bunker and look through books at night after the others were asleep. 

It was getting late and Jack felt tired. He was walking down the hall when Sam stepped out of his room. He stayed in place when he saw Jack.

“Hi Sam” Jack said with a smile.

“Uh, Jack, you’re up late”

“Yea, I’m heading to bed now”

“Jack, are you able to sense Lucifer?” 

“No. When he gets somewhere close I sense a darkness but I do not feel that here” 

“You are the most powerful being Jack, I think you can find him” 

“I’m sorry Sam. I can’t track him”  
Jack said and started walking again. 

Sam put his hand on his chest stopping him. “Can’t or won’t?” Sam said looking down at Jack with a scowl on his face.

“I can’t Sam or I would”

Sam backed Jack to the wall towering over him, anger building.

“I don’t believe you, I think you can find him” Sam said furiously.

“I can’t, I’m telling the truth!” Jack yelled. 

Sam grabbed his neck and lifted him off the floor holding him to the wall. Jack was prying at Sams fingers.

“Tell me where he is Jack!!” 

Sams hand squeezed harder. Jacks eyes flared gold at the attack. Dean and Cas heard the ruckus and rushed out seeing Jack send Sam flying back as he dropped to the floor. Cas went to Jack and Dean to Sam.

“Sammy?!” Dean went to help him up but Sam pushed him away. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Dean said. 

“Jack knows where Lucifer is, I know he does!” Sam yelled glaring at Jack. 

“Cas get Jack to his room or something” Dean sent them out of sight.

“Alright Sam, sit down, enough of this, you are going to talk to me right now! What was that?” 

Sam sat there with his head to the side clenching his jaw in anger.  
Dean grabbed his chin turning his face to look at him. 

“We’re doin this now Sam, I don’t care how mad you are. I am not leaving until you talk to me” Dean said with his eyes locked on Sams.

Sam pushed Deans hand away and looked down at the floor. Dean leaned against the desk folding his arms waiting. Sam let out a sigh.

“I didn’t mean to scare Jack. I believe him”

“Look, I know I’m not in your shoes Sammy. I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat so you don’t have to go through this. But you gotta let me help you man”

“That’s just it Dean, you can’t. No one can”

“Sammy, yes I..” 

“Dean! You don’t get it!”  
“I don’t want help getting through this! I don’t want this!”

“I know Sammy” Dean said softly.

“I can feel it inside me. I can’t love this...this..thing, this abomination”

“Jack is not evil, he’s good. Your baby can be good too Sam. It’s a part of you and that will out weigh any evil” 

“This is different Dean, Kelly could see Jack was good. All I see is.....is” Sam took a deep breath.

“What Sammy?”

“Lucifer”

Dean stepped forward but Sam put his hand up.  
“Stay there Dean, please”

“I am completely healed Dean. I don’t even have a single scar from....what he did. I also can’t get hurt or I’m instantly healed if I do. And, and I can’t, I can’t die either” 

“Sam what did you do??” 

“It doesn’t matter. I tried my worst and nothing can stop this. Maybe it will kill me when it doesn’t need me. I hope it does” Sam said hopelessly.

“Sam, please don’t say that”

“We talked Dean. You can go now. Tell Jack I’m sorry” Sam said laying down turning his back to Dean.

He stood there for a minute looking at Sam feeling helpless himself. He walked out leaving Sam alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam is due anytime. The nephilim pregnancy has been hard on him. He’s almost six months along. They have a room prepped for thedelivery and make sure Sam is never alone so they’re ready when it’s time.

 Sam is sitting on the couch watching TV. Dean is on the laptop at a nearby table. He couldn’t help staring at Sam. He’s beautiful pregnant but he feels guilty thinking that because of how he got pregnant. Sam has shown no emotion towards the experience, no interest in it whatsoever. Not that they blame him but it was the hope that Sam would feel differently by this point, that carrying his baby would have created a bond stronger than what happened to him. Dean and Cas have gotten everything for the baby’s arrival and have been preparing like expectant fathers. Sam avoided all their attempts to get him involved.

 While Dean was watching he saw Sam start shifting. Sam didn’t know Deans eyes were on him when he looked down at his belly.

He slowly placed a hand over it. The baby must be kicking. An actual closed lip smile came to Sams face at what he felt. He had both hands on his belly while he smiled down at it. Dean was thrilled to catch this moment and was able to sneak a picture without Sam noticing. This was the first acknowledgment Sam has made towards his growing bundle. His face had softened, he even looked peaceful. It was a glimpse of his Sammy he hasn’t seen since before what happened. Maybe there’s still hope this can be something better.

 Cas walked in and sat next to Dean. Sam immediately snapped out of his trance, his face turning hard again. Dean nudged Cas to look at the picture he took with his phone. It made them both smile and look at each other with optimism.

 Cas got up and walked over taking a seat next to Sam on the couch.

“How are you feeling today Sam?”

 “Like a beached whale Cas, how about you?

 “Sam you look perfect” Cas said looking at Dean giving thumbs up. He had to focus on not taking things so literal so he could console Sam instead of annoying him.

 “Thanks I guess” Sam said. He shifted again this time his face looked uncomfortable.

 “Are you okay?” Cas asked

 “I’m fine Cas” Sam said.

 Five minutes later Sam felt pain in his lower abdomen. He leaned forward holding his belly.

 Cas put his hand on Sams shoulder and nodded to Dean who came rushing over to Sams side.

 “Sammy, tell us what you feel” Dean said.

 “I’m fine, it’s nothing, it’s probably just moving weird”

 Cas gave Dean a look but they waited beside Sam and in just a few more minutes he was leaning over again with a grunt and clear discomfort.

 “Sam, your labor is starting. Let’s get you set up and comfortable in the medical room. We do not know how fast or slow this will be” Cas said.

 Sam knew Cas was right but he was so afraid. He didn’t say anything but looked up at Dean with a pleading expression. Dean kneeled down eye level to Sam. He pushed his hair behind his ear and took his hand firmly in his.

 “It’s gonna be okay Sammy. I will be with you the whole time. You can do this” Dean said with reassurance.

 Sam took a breath, closed his eyes and nodded. He stood and went with them to the room.

 No sooner than he was on the equipped medical bed another contraction hit. It was noticeably stronger. Dean held his hand through it.

 ********

Sam had been in labor for three hours. The lights flicker with his now extremely intense painful contractions. He’s drenched in sweat. Dean trying to keep him cool wiping his face and neck with damp rags.

 “Okay Sam, it’s time to push” Cas Said.

 Sam leaned up bringing his knees up holding them wide at his sides getting into position.

Dean began rubbing his back and arm, giving him encouraging and supportive words.

 Sam took a breath holding it, tucked his chin to his chest with grit teeth and pushed with focused strength.

 “Good Sam, just like that” Cas said.

 Sam stopped to breathe. Another contraction coming. He takes a breath holding the position, bares down harder for more pushing.

Sams body is strong, the head is out after ten minutes. Cas suctions the baby’s nose and mouth telling Sam he’s almost done.

 “You’re doing so great Sam. One more push should do it” Cas said.

 “Come on Sammy, it’s almost over” Dean said.

 One last big push and the baby is out.The electricity goes out from the baby’s release of angel power. The generators kick in bringing it back. Sam let’s himself fall back against the bed.

 “You have a baby girl Sam” Cas says smiling.

 Dean was holding Sams hand rubbing it with his thumb.

“You did it Sammy” he said giving Sams hand a squeeze.

 Cas cleans the baby and crying starts. He swaddles her and carries her over to hand to Sam.

But Sam has tears streaming down his face. His eyes are closed.

 “Sammy, it’s okay, you’re okay. You can hold your daughter” Dean said.

 “I can’t. Please don’t force me. I want to rest, please” he said through his sobs.

 Dean didn’t argue. He heard the pain in Sams voice.

 “I will check on you soon Sammy”

Dean said and kissed his forehead before he and Cas left the room.

 They went to the nursery they made. Dean walked over to Cas. He reached for his niece taking her in his arms. Her little eyes looking up at him. Dean instantly fell in love with this precious angel. She looks just like Sam.

 He looked at Cas.

 “She’s not evil”

 “No she’s not Dean”

 “I feel it though, like what she is and what she’s feeling”

 “I did too, I believe she is sending telepathic waves”

 “Jack doesn’t have that power, how does she?”

 “They cannot be compared Dean. Kelly was an untainted human. Sam is good but he has been altered in ways humans weren’t meant for. She will be more powerful”

 “I need to check on Sam” he said handing her to Cas.

 Dean walked in to see Sam sleeping. He put a blanket over him and let him be. 

 Cas was sitting in a rocking chair feeding the baby. He had a little smile on his face as he was watching her. He didn’t hear Dean come back and lean in the doorway.

 “You’re a natural” Dean said.

 They spent the evening in the nursery admiring the beautiful baby girl. Her little coos and sounds kept them mesmerized and content just watching her. Sam should be doing this. He needs to see she is like him. He needs to be bonding with his precious baby.

Several hours later Dean headed to check on Sam again hoping the rest helped clear his head enough to meet his darling girl. Dean walked into an empty room. The bed was cleared and replaced with a note:

_Don’t try to find me. I’m sorry._


	5. Chapter 5

Dean searched for Sam persistently. Hacked every alias he ever used. Sam left his phone and all his traceable IDs and credit cards. He disappeared from the world. Dean was pissed but more worried. His job is to protect his brother, he can’t stand knowing Sam is alone and no where to be found. 

Dean was making coffee and talking with Jack when Cas walked in with the bouncing baby. She lit up and reached for Jack when she saw him. Cas handed her to her brother. 

“Good morning sis” Jack said making faces and giggling with her. 

“Dean, I know we will search for Sam as long as it takes but it’s been two months. We need a name for little miss or she is going to think her name is princess. She grows at a faster rate and will understand sooner” Cas said. 

“I know, you’re right. I hoped we would’ve had him back before now” Dean said. He walked over taking the happy girl. She grinned at him. Dean saw so much of Sam in her. She has his eyes and his smile, the same light Sam had before life dimmed him. 

“Joslyn” Dean said.

“That’s beautiful Dean” Cas said.

“The J can honor Jess and match her brother” Dean said giving Jack a wink making him smile. 

Dean looked at her and gave her Eskimo kisses while she laughed cutely. “A beautiful name for a beautiful girl” Dean said.

********  
Time kept going by. Before they knew it Sam had been gone for a year. How could it be that long? Dean missed him dearly and it breaks his heart that Sam is missing out on knowing his wonderful daughter. She is everything a Winchester is and more. 

She aged through the childhood phases quickly, and now she is physically a young woman. She’s tall, her hair is long and wavy like their mother’s but with Sams color, she’s gentle hearted and loving like Sam. She has telepathic and empathetic ability allowing her to tune in and express on an intense level. Cas has worked with her on controlling receiving and emitting to protect herself and every one around her. 

Jack has been a lifeline for her dealing with unknown power. His experience was frightening and Sam was the only one to accept him and guide him at first. Joslyn is flourishing without the burden of not knowing what she is. Dean is very proud of Jack and he regrets being so hard on him when he came into the world, but how was he to know that anything sired from Lucifer could be pure. Jack is forgiving and loves his family and he loves helping his sister and being a brother.

Dean was standing in Joslyn’s doorway, he tapped on the frame letting her know he was there. She looked up from her sketch pad and smiled. 

“Hey sweetheart, I made you a milkshake” He said walking over to hand it to her. 

“Thank you uncle D” she said.

“I will be on a run early in the morning so you and Jack can practice all the stunts you want, just don’t blow anything up okay?” He teased.

“Okay, great! Jack has some tricks to show me, I’m excited to learn” she beamed. 

“Okay baby, you be careful. Stay focused and pay attention”

“Always” 

Her eyes looked down then back at him.  
“Uncle D? Where are you going tomorrow?” She asked softly. 

“Just some errands to get done, more of a supply run” He said 

“You’re looking for my father aren’t you?” 

“Honey, we talked about you reading me, privacy remember?” He said angling his head with a dad look. 

“I didn’t have to. I know your patterns when you try to avoid telling me” She said 

Dean sighed. “I am only looking out for you darling” 

“I know but..” She looked down biting her lip.

“What honey?”

“He left because of me. He didn’t want me” A tear ran down her beautiful cheek. 

“No, no, sweetheart” Dean sat down in front of her and took her hand. 

“He went through something no one should have to go through. It was too much. He couldn’t process it. It wasn’t you sweetheart, I know he loves you, he just didn’t know how to let that love in”

“How can you know that uncle D?” 

He opened his inside pocket and pulled out what looked like a thin leather card holder but it opened like a book. He handed it to her.

She held it open with both hands looking at every detail of the picture preserved inside. It was the picture he took of Sam smiling at his pregnant belly while holding it lovingly. She shed more tears.

“He’s so handsome” she said smiling and running her hand over the picture. 

“He is darling. Your beauty came from him” Dean said with his own eyes watering but blinking them back.

“I felt his anger uncle D. While I was in his tummy. I thought it was towards me” she looked back at Dean. 

“No it wasn’t, I promise honey. I didn’t know you were carrying this feeling with you sweetheart. It was not towards you, please trust me” 

“Let me see uncle D. Please?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I can’t let you feel the pain of that day” Dean said pulling his hand back. 

Joslyn grabbed both his hands and looked in his eyes. The same pleading look Sam would give that would make him give in over his reservations. 

“Please, I need to know. To understand” 

Dean looked at her with sadness.  
“Okay, okay” he whispered. 

Joslyn raised her hands on either side of Deans face, he gently stopped them before touching.  
“Promise me you will stop if you feel too much” He said worried.

“I promise. Please show me”

Dean released her hands. She pressed her first two fingers on his temples. Her eyes flared a bright purple. 

The visions came flooding in. Everything that Dean saw she was seeing. Getting to the barn, the rescue, the pain, the hurt, the broken spirit, all of it up to the day she was born. 

She slowly pulled her hands away, they were shaking. 

“Sweetheart?” Dean said.

“I don’t blame him” she said sadly.

“Come here princess” Dean held out his arm for her to sit next to him. She leaned her head on his shoulder, his arm around her and his chin against her head.

“I love you sweet girl. Sam, your father, thought he was doing what was best. It’s not your fault, don’t ever think that” he kissed her head and hugged her.

“Get some rest honey” he got up and left the room. Joslyn picked up the picture of her dad, she stared at it until she fell asleep.

*******  
Dean was out the door early in the morning. He had a good drive ahead of him. He caught a headline about a string of disappearances that fit his kind of weird. His first suspicion is djinn abductions. 

He made it to the station and picked up the case files. He planned on finding a room nearby to study up and work the job. When he walked outside, he grabbed the keys from his pocket, when he looked up he swore his eyes were playing tricks on him.

Leaning on the impala driver door with his legs crossed and hands in his pockets was Sam. Dean had to blink several times to make sure he was not imagining things. He walked up and stood a few feet away.

“Hi Dean” 

“Sam? Is it really you?” 

“Yea, I uh, thought you would come for this case” 

Dean grabbed him in a hug, Sam embraced his brother back tightly. 

“I searched for you this whole time, I haven’t stopped” Dean said over Sams shoulder.

“I didn’t want to be found Dean. I’m so sorry” 

Dean let go and looked at Sam again. He looked well. His build was filled out like he used to be, his face was calm and he carried himself with a composure Dean hadn’t seen in years. 

“Dean, I had to leave the way I did because I knew you wouldn’t let me go”

“You should have stayed”

“I couldn’t, I don’t expect you to understand. I was not going to recover if I stayed”

“You don’t know that Sam”

“Dean, please don’t argue with me. I came to talk”

“Jesus Sam. I can’t decide if I’m happy to see you or if I want to punch you” he said looking away. 

“Fair enough” 

“No. No Sam. I get it, you were broken, you couldn’t deal, you ran. But you ran out on your family. You ran out on your daughter. You left me and Cas to raise her. I had to tell her it wasn’t her fault you left, to be the one to answer when she asked why her father didn’t want her” Dean was getting heated.

Sam saw Dean full of emotion as he talked about the baby he left.

“Is she okay?” Sam asked.

“Yes” Dean said looking away.  
He sighed and looked Sam in the eye.  
“I miss you Sammy. I’m sorry for what you went through, I didn’t mean to snap like that. It’s just...Joslyn...she...she’s so much like you and she’s so kind hearted. I just wish you had given her a chance is all” 

Sam was struck with a tender sentiment.  
“Joslyn?” He said feeling a tug on his heart at the name. 

“Yea, I named her”

“It’s a lovely name, thank you Dean” 

Sam stepped closer putting his hand on Deans shoulder.

“Dean, I need to see her. Can I come home?” Sam asked hoping his brother could accept him.

Dean hugged him again, longer this time. It still felt like a dream after searching for so long.

“Hell yes Sammy, we need you, I need you” 

Sam let out a sigh of relief and smiled in the comforting embrace. 

“Well, you wanna knock out this hunt so we can get outta here? Or are you too rusty?” 

Sam cocked his head giving a smug look.  
“Why do you think you haven’t heard about many cases in a while? Watch and you might learn somethin new” Sam winked walking around to the passenger side.

Dean would have smirked but he smiled seeing his brother back with a spunkiness he thought he’d never see again. They got in the impala like they used to ready to do some family business.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean was beyond happy to have Sam on a hunt along side him again. It never felt right without his brother. Once they wrapped up the case it was time to be on their way to the bunker. They had a five hour drive ahead of them. 

Dean looked over at Sam in the passenger side, he smiled to himself and looked back to the road.

“It’s good to have you back Sammy. I gotta be honest I wasn’t sure if I’d find you, or if I’d ever see you again,....or worse”

“I know Dean. I’m sorry I made you worry, I really am. But I was messed up, real bad, all I could see was red. I didn’t trust myself and it was too dangerous for everyone with me there”

Dean normally would protest and give reasons why Sam should have done things differently and tell him they could have figured it out together, but not this time. Dean was listening, truly listening. Sam was opening up and Dean is hearing every meaning in his words.

“I admit I didn’t understand the way you left, but I’m hearing you Sammy. I always push the family button and think I can fix everything, that my way is best. I see you needed another way and I’m glad you found it. I am curious how you made it back, how you are...YOU again...after...., after what you endured”

“I didn’t have a plan at first, I just found a car and took it as far as it could take me. I hunted. Took out my rage on a ton of monsters, tortured more than I should have. I came across some other hunters when I was obliterating a nest of vamps”

Sam paused looking out the window for a minute.

“They helped me. I was able to change my focus. I stayed with them. Please don’t be mad Dean. I had to completely reset to face that day” 

“I’m not mad Sammy. I can’t say what I would have done. You did what you needed and only you could make that call”

It was quiet for the next few miles.

“Will she forgive me?” Sam asked.

“She has, she wants you home too” 

Dean told Sam about his beautiful daughter and how strong she is. He shared as many stories as he could the rest of the way. Sam saw how Deans face showed a deep care for his niece. He’s seen it towards himself many times just not as openly as Dean is giving it in this moment. 

Sam is nervous. He missed the start of his child’s life. When he thinks back to the day he had her he can’t help the ache in his heart. He did want to hold her. He wanted to cover her tiny face in kisses and never let her go. He wanted to release all the painful holds on him, all the horrible feelings and let the love flow over, let the connection to his baby wash over him. But he couldn’t. It was like Lucifer had embedded his filth too deep for Sam to see anything else. That’s why he had to go. If he wanted a true chance at beating the lock on him, he had to leave. Sam does not feel guilty about what he had to do to be able to come back himself, but he does have hurt from being absent in his girl’s life. He’s not sure how he’s going to explain that but he’s damn well going to try.

****  
They arrived at the bunker, Dean parked the impala and turned her engine off. Sam looked straight ahead. 

Dean put his hand on Sams shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay Sammy” he said. 

Sam took a breath. “Yea, I wanna be here Dean, I need to be here”

They got out and made their way inside. Cas looked up from his reading when he heard the door open and see the brothers come in. His face lit up. Dean had let him know Sam was coming back with him so he wasn’t too blindsided when they returned. As soon as they were down the stairs Cas grabbed Sam hugging him tight. Sam closed his eyes as he hugged the angel back.

“Sam, I am so glad you’re home”

“Me too Cas, me too”

They wondered over to sit at the tables. After a few conversations Sam was getting a little antsy.

“Dean, where is she?” 

“Okay Sammy, wait here” he gave Sam a pat on the arm before he walked off. 

“I am impressed by you Sam. The dark essence that clouded you is gone. That could not have been an easy feat, I am proud of you” Cas said with a comforting expression.

“Thanks Cas, it wasn’t. I didn’t know if I could get my life back, or want it back for that matter. But a Winchester always keeps fighting and that’s what I did. I missed you so much” Sam said. Cas reached his hand across the table and laid it over Sams, he gave Cas a smile at the touch.

When Sam looked over he saw Dean standing next to the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He got to his feet quickly and stood still. Dean waved Cas to come with him. 

Joslyn slowly walked towards Sam. He couldn’t stop admiring her beauty. She stood close looking up at his face. His eyes looking into his own he had given her. He brought his hand to move a lock of her long wavy hair behind her ear following a light soft caress to her cheek with the top of his curled fingers. 

“Daddy” she whispered.

He wrapped his long arms around her, putting his cheek over the top of her head. His eyes closed and tears began rolling out. She buried her face in his chest, holding onto him. 

“I’m here baby, I’m here, I’m so sorry” Sam said as he was instinctively rocking them side to side.

“I love you baby. Please forgive me. I had to protect you. I had to”  
Sam cried but made himself say it with control.

“I know Daddy. I’m so happy you came back to me” she said in his chest.

In that moment she dropped her guard and her overwhelming feelings went through Sam. She flooded him with her love for him and also with the prickling sting she had from his absence.  
Sam let out a distressed yell, catching his balance on a chair with one hand and the other hand pressing over a temple as he winced. 

Dean and Cas came running in seeing Sam barely able to stand and Joslyn looking frightened but apologizing frantically. 

Cas rushed to her side. “Calm down sweetheart, look at me” Cas said taking her attention away from Sam.

The link to Sams mind stopped and she started crying and ran out. Cas followed to go comfort her. 

Sam still rubbing his head but seeing straight and standing straight now, looked at Dean who had a hand on his shoulder. 

“Wow, I wasn’t ready for that” Sam said. 

“She’s done real well learning her power but I thought this might happen with you” 

“I should, I should go talk to her” Sam said. 

“Let Cas calm her first Sammy, he can handle the jolts better than we can. We don’t want her boiling your brain”   
Sam looked at him wide eyed.

“It’s a joke Sammy” Dean laughed. “At least I hope it is” he said shaking it off with his head. 

“Okay well, before I rest I’d like to see Jack” Sam said 

“He’ll be happy to see you Sammy. His room is in the same place, feel free” Dean said gesturing to the hall.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s been smooth around the bunker after Sam was able to show Joslyn he was okay and not mad at her.

Sam was an instant doting father, it came so naturally for him. He would have been great from the beginning but he can’t change the past. He feels complete being back with his daughter and family. The last month has been bliss reconnecting and getting to know his sweet girl. There’s just been a looming feeling in the back of Sams mind he can’t shake. 

 Then it happened. Sam was standing facing a bookcase when he heard the whoosh of wings. He didn’t have to turn around to know it was him.

“Lucifer” Sam said and turned to give a jaw clenching glare.

“Hi Sammy” 

“How did you get in here?” Sam asked.

“There’s a flaw in the warding... finally”

Sams insides were churning but he stood tall with his angry stare.

“Look at you, stronger than ever huh Sammy? I hoped you running away from home meant that my spawn was....” he paused and walked up to Sam. “A little devil” he said with a smirk.

Sam gave a small questioning look but stood his ground, Lucifer made him sick but he was not afraid.

“I told you you’re mine, I always know where you are”

Lucifer came close to Sam, too close. He ran a finger down Sams cheek to his neck. He gripped firmly enough to dominate pushing Sam into the bookcase.

“He should have clawed his way out of your insides” Lucifer said through gritted teeth.

“No matter, we can end you together. Bring him to me” his eyes flashed red briefly from the enticement of future violence.

At that moment Dean and Cas walked in. Cas immediately drew his angel blade and Deans mind started racing on how to get Sam away from Lucifer.

“Easy boys, Sammy and I were just discussing co-parenting....or one parenting I should say” he winked at Sam.

Dean and Cas took a couple steps closer. Lucifer held up his hand that wasn’t holding Sam.

“Stop right there if you don’t want this to get ugly”

“When is it not ugly with you!” Dean spat out.

“Hurtful” Lucifer waved his hand and had Dean pinned to a wall.

“You can end this Sammy, just tell me where he is, show me what you made for me” he gripped a little tighter. Sam just looked back not even flinching, no hint of feeling in his eyes.

Then Jack and Joslyn came in walking into the alarming tricky situation.

“NO!!” Sam yelled when they entered.

Lucifer cocked his head, leaving Sam where he stood knowing he wouldn’t do anything. He smiled and laughed.

“A girl? Of course. I should have known. That makes much more sense this time” Lucifer noticed her stunning features. He could feel great power in her presence.

“Don’t be afraid pretty thing, I will not hurt you, come say hello to your papa” He held his arms open.

“Let them go” she said calmly.

“They attacked me, I only came to meet you, my daughter” He gave a very unconvincing innocent look.

“You cannot lie to me Lucifer” she said taking a step closer.

Jack reached for her to stay back but was thrown across the room in a swift toss.

“You had your chance, you are weak and useless” he snarled to Jack.

She wants to kill Lucifer and is more than willing and able to do it. She connects with Sam to find out his wish. 

_**“Dad, I know you can hear me. I need you to say I can end him. I can stop all of this and he can never hurt anyone again but only if you say so”** _

When Sam hears Joslyn’s words he hates Lucifer for putting her in this impossible event. He hates him for showing up, for the never ending tournament he has wrecked on his life. But Sam has had a change of heart. Killing Lucifer won’t change what happened to him. Revenge killing is never the answer. He can’t believe he has crossed to this revaluation after Lucifer took away so much, robbed him of precious time, hurt him, broke him physically, broke him mentally, and humiliated him. There is one thing he still has, one thing Lucifer could not touch and killing Lucifer would take that one thing, his humanity. 

_**“No sweetheart, I do not wish him death. Please don’t succumb to that, it is a path to darkness. You don’t owe me anything darling. I love you, I am so sorry baby”** _

She heard his words and felt every true feeling he had. The ones he said and the ones he didn’t say. She felt his forgiveness.

“Come with me doll and we can have a lot of fun, unlimited power together, the world can be ours” Lucifer said holding his hand out to her.

“I know who you are. I know what you did. I can see into your non heart, your true essence. I can bet you did not count on me being stronger than you.....the Devil” She said with a clever smirk of her own.

She lunged forward throwing her arms out sending a force around Lucifer lifting him in the air. Her eyes glowing a vibrant galaxy purple. Lucifer screams, his body tense and frozen in the energy field. His eyes sparking evil red but not by his choice. He is screaming as his power is being pulled out of him with what looks like strikes of lightning from her hands. His evil grace is clouding above him and being burned away in flames. His wings are forced out and wilted away. Once his eyes were no longer red she released her force letting Lucifer drop to the floor.

The others were looking at each other from what they just saw. Lucifer groans and slowly sits up.

“What did you do to me?!!” “This is how you treat your father?!”

“You were never my father. My true father asked that you live. You may do so, but as human” She said.

“What?!!!! No!!! I will kill you for this!!” Lucifer stood but was easily subdued by Dean and Cas.

They quickly dragged him to the dungeon of the bunker.

Sam ran to Joslyn hugging her with tears in his eyes.

“Thank you sweetheart, thank you” Sam whispered out.

“He will never hurt you again Dad, I meant that no matter what your answer was” she said into Sams chest.

 

Dean made a call and when he hung up he turned to Lucifer sitting cuffed in a chair.

“You know what solitary confinement is? You will be spending eternity where you belong, back in a cage”


End file.
